capturing the sweet life.

Cleanse Advice - Going Forward

So, it's been two weeks since we've been off the cleanse.  My eating habits have been less than stellar post-cleanse.  I think I dived in and had everything I was craving  - all at the same time!  Pasta, cheese, chicken, cheese, chocolate, sugar, CHEESE.  C'mon, Stacy (Modern Family reference alert!).

And here's what I've learned...

No food tastes better than being healthy feels.  End of story.  

I'm starting to feel the way I did before the cleanse - tired, irritable, constant mildly upset stomach, unmotivated...  The difference is, this time I know WHY I feel like that.  And I know that I can control it.  It's a powerful feeling knowing that I'm the one who determines how I'm going to feel based on what foods I use to fuel my body.  To know that the universe isn't playing some cruel joke on me, or that some people just have "all the luck" by having naturally higher energy levels.  The onus is on ME to give my body what it needs to have that energy, to run efficiently, to fire all its cylinders.  

So now that the Re-toxification is done, I'm ready to get back on the horse.  Going forward, Brian and I have agreed to have one free day a week where we can eat pretty much whatever we want, and then follow a modified version of the cleanse 6 days/week. Addressing each of the Forbidden Five:

1.  Caffeine.  I have managed to stay off soda since before the cleanse, so that's one thing I'm glad I didn't cave into on the re-tox.  I have a love/hate relationship with pop - I love the way it tastes, I hate that it's devoid of anything and everything nutritious.  And not only that, it actually harms your body.  It's sort of like smoking, in my book.  Or an abusive relationship.  I've tried giving it up in the past (did during both pregnancies), but always came back to it.  But this time I think I'm ready to say goodbye to my love, once and for all.  You're no good, you're no good, you're no good...baby, you're no good.

As for coffee, I'm not a huge coffee drinker.  Maybe a mug or two a week.  So going forward, I'm planning on sticking with that.  Brian, on the other hand, has an uphill battle with this one.  He admits that he felt better not drinking so much coffee and has agreed to cut back to just one cup per day.  I think that's a great start.

2.  Sugar.  As an avid baker and lover of all things sweet and gooey and delicious, cutting out sugar completely is a no-go for me.  But I do sense a lack of control when it comes to sugar - something I picked up on in the days right after the cleanse.  It wasn't enough to have one piece of chocolate.  Or one cookie.  I had the constant craving for more.  Kathy talks in the book about feeding the "sugar monster" and how it propagates itself - it has an insatiable appetite and you're left feeling like a little isn't enough.  So practicing moderation will be huge.  Learning to slow down.  Eat consciously.  And, yes, learning to say no to myself.  If I can just get through that temporary discomfort of not giving in to the sugar monster's cry for MORE, then there's a big pay-off.  I think maintaining a steady blood sugar level is actually what gave me the most energy on the cleanse.  So because it has the potential to do the most damage to my physical feelings of health, this will be the biggest battle for me.  I'm planning to do a lot more research in the coming months about maintaining blood sugar levels, glycemic loads, etc.  Any advice anyone has out there on books or websites or whatever on this topic would certainly be welcome.

3.  Alcohol.  Another one that I hardly missed.  I'm much more of a social drinker - meaning, I don't really just relax with a glass of wine or beer at the end of the day.  I drink when I'm with friends or celebrating something.  So day-to-day drinking isn't an issue for me.  I relax with sugar instead.  But the book points out that alcohol acts like sugar in your blood stream.  So many who ARE relaxation drinkers are actually artificially keeping their blood sugars elevated when they have that drink and they may get that same feeling of "needing more" or that one drink just doesn't relax you enough.  I found that interesting.

So going forward, I'm just going to be more mindful of counting alcohol as a sugar and watching how much of it I drink (and in combination with what foods).  I'll still get wild and crazy with the girls from time to time (okay, wild and crazy is a BIT of an overstatement), but I'm grateful for the raised level of consciousness I have about how alcohol affects my body.

4.  Gluten.  So part of the point of the cleanse was to get rid of gluten for a bit to see if I have any kind of intolerance to it.  It's sort of hard to tell when my re-introduction of gluten coincided with my re-introduction of everything else.  But I genuinely feel like I'm in the clear a bit on this.  Aside from overindulging and the feelings of fullness and being weighed down that come with THAT, I haven't noticed any other ill side-effects from my pasta/bread laden days.  I'll continue to look at gluten a bit closer to perhaps try and isolate it a bit more, but for now, I'm counting myself among the lucky ones.

That being said, I will NOT be overindulging in wheat any longer.  I firmly believe it's the overindulgence that does a lot of us in.  NOT necessarily the gluten itself.  So for the most part, Brian and I will be sticking to rice, oatmeal, quinoa, bulghur, and other grains.  But as of right now, I don't feel like I need to cut gluten out completely.  It just needs to be more of a treat or a once-in-awhile kind of thing.  Not an every day, or every meal thing.

5.  Animal Products.  Ah the big one.  For me.  I missed meat.  Badly.  Beef, not so much.  Pork, yes.  And chicken?  Definitely.  And I'm not much of a seafood lover, but I even thought that a lot of the meals we ate on the cleanse could have been much improved with the addition of a little tuna or tilapia.  And cheese.  Sweet, sweet cheese.  Every salad and pasta dish I made called out for a bit of parmesan.  The gluten free English muffins I was having begged me for pizza sauce and fresh mozzarella.  I maybe could have even gotten on board with a veggie burger if I'd been allowed to have a little cheddar on it...

Clearly, there's a dependency issue going on here.  I love animal products.  Meat, we've covered.  And cheese, of course.  But milk...and yogurt...and ice cream...and honey...and sour cream dips...these are a few of my favorite things!  I can't imagine a life without them.

But here's the problem.  The last few chapters in the book REALLY hit this point hard - animals are suffering, by the millions, to feed humans.  And I'm not talking suffering like, "Oh their pens are too crowded" or "they're only fed corn" or "they never know love."  Sure all that's probably true.  Their lives are miserable.  At least for most of them.  But the suffering I'm talking about, that Kathy really opened my eyes to, are the last, terrifying moments of these animals lives.  How they're slaughtered without dignity.  How they're disrespected.  And tortured.  And mutilated.  The stories she shares in the book are haunting.  And disturbing.  And all too common, I'm afraid.

It breaks my heart.  And makes me so ashamed to be part of a culture that undervalues a life in this way.  I am an animal lover - I believe that all animals are capable of feeling loved and unloved.  Respected and disrespected.  Honored and humiliated.  Joy and pain.  Hope and fear.  All I have to do is look into my dog, Murphy's, eyes to believe that.  So to think that every steak I eat or every chicken breast or piece of bacon is coming from an animal that may have spent it's final moments writhing in pain, terrified, abused...

You can see the problem.

So I have some serious soul-searching to do.  I'm deeply and profoundly conflicted on this.  For now, I'm choosing not to think about it too much.  Cowardly, I know.  But I know that millions of others out there are doing the same.  Because I think if we really opened ourselves up completely to what goes on with these animals before they arrived in their plastic-wrapped packages at the supermarket, I'm guessing veganism/vegetariansim would NOT be in the minority.  

For the time being, I've also started to say a silent thank you to the animal that gave up its life for my meal.  I may not have been there to honor it during the last moments of its life, but I CAN honor it in that moment before I eat.  It's the very least I can do.

I'll be giving this issue a lot of thought in the coming days/weeks.  Perhaps trying to find a middle ground, somehow, though I see little evidence of that being easy.  Maybe some level of "flexitarianism" or something.  I honestly don't know.  But how can I ever go back to eating the way I was before?

*****

So that's it for the forbidden five.  Long story short (too late!), the cleanse diet is a LOT closer to the way I need to eat to feel healthy than the way I was eating before.  And the more meals I eat that more closely mirror that diet will translate to more time I spend feeling the way I'm desperate to feel.  Simple as that.

It won't be easy.  I'm a creature of habit and food habits are some of the hardest to break.  But for once in my life, I can move forward knowing that I'm in control and that change is possible.  I've just got to be brave enough and strong enough to make the choices I know I need to make...this cleanse taught me that I am.

Cleanse Advice - Snack Ideas

Confession Time:  I'd be lying if I said I found myself full and satisfied all of the time while we were on the cleanse.  In fact, some days, I just couldn't get over how un-satiating some of the meals were.  I mean a big 'ol salad just does NOT fill you up the way a cheeseburger will.  What kept me going was mini meals, or snacks, throughout the day.  Sometimes 3 or 4 a day, far more than I snack on my "regular" diet.  But I tried to make my snacks relatively healthy and tried to refrain from falling into "junk food vegetarian" status.  But I did have potato chips, you saw that on the blog.  Sometimes a girl just needs a salty, crunchy bite!

But here's some ideas for healthy snacks that'll keep you going through the cleanse and beyond:

• A handful of nuts (walnuts, almonds, pecans, cashews, pistachios) - we kept a bowl on the counter and grabbed a handful whenever I needed something to "fill me up."  Nuts are high in fat and calories, though, so don't overdo these.  One handful a day is plenty.
• Fruit salad - I found a mix of fruit to be more satisfying than just having one kind
• Nut butter on rice cakes - I considered this dessert most nights
• Tortilla chips & salsa or guacamole
• Popcorn - I cook mine on the stove with just a touch of canola oil a couple times a week and snack on it throughout the day.  Target also carries a yummy organic pre-popped bag that was nice to have on hand.  I believe it's their in-house organic brand...
• White bean spread or hummus on rice crackers or with veggies
• Iced tea
• Olives, pickles.  Again, go easy on these because they're high in sodium.
• Apples with peanut butter - another dessert.
• Homemade trail mix or granola - be sure to sweeten with agave, not honey
• Pumpkin seeds - get the kind in the shell.  They take longer to eat if you crack them open and just eat the seed.  Helps with the "eating b/c I'm bored" thing.
• Smoothies.  Add in some protein powder and a tablespoon of ground flax seed for a health boost.  Kathy suggests adding spinach, but I never got that brave.
• Applesauce.  Motts makes an unsweetened, calcium added kind that I liked sprinkled with a little cinnamon
• Oven roasted chickpeas or edamame - great for a protein boost without the calories in nuts
• Roasted potato chips - a healthier version of the bagged kind.  Just thinly slice potatoes, toss with salt and EVOO and roast at 400 degrees until lightly browned.
• Celery w/peanut butter (I told you I ate a bunch of this stuff!)
• Tabbouleh - either pre-made or homemade

So there's a few ideas - a lot of these may sound high in fat or calories, but remember you're eating super healthy the rest of the time.  And fat and calories are NOT the enemy - overindulgence is.  I didn't count a single calorie on this cleanse and managed to lose 11 pounds.  So don't worry if you find yourself eating more frequently or finishing off a jar of peanut butter a week.  Everything will balance itself out and you can feel good knowing that the calories you are getting are coming from foods loaded with phytonutrients, fiber and good fats as opposed to empty sugars and starches.

 

Cleanse Advice - Keeping the Fridge Stocked

One of the things that helped me the most on the cleanse was keeping a few things pre-made and stocked in the fridge.  I find that when I don't plan and need to grab something quick, that's when I'm most likely to make unhealthy choices.  So this is a practice I plan on continuing now that we're off the cleanse.  And it's one that I recommend implementing if you're like me and dial the pizza guy whenever your fridge "looks" empty.

So what did I make ahead?  These ten things meet the criteria of being delicious, multi-purpose, and keep well in the fridge for at least a few days.

 

Image credit = The Kitchn

1.  Steelcut Oatmeal.  I made a double or triple batch and cooked the oatmeal in coconut milk (the kind in the carton, not the can), almond milk, or unsweetened apple juice instead of water.  Then I made one of the following additions:

• • Pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, agave nectar & pecans
  • Chopped apples, cinnamon & walnuts
  • Bananas, nutmeg & pecans
  • Dates, coconut, cinnamon & pecans   

Then just let it cool on the stove, divide it into single serving containers and pop it in the fridge.  When you want to reheat it, add a bit of water and microwave for a minute or two.  Delicious, easy and satisfying breakfast and SO healthy.

 

Image credit = The Green Gourmets

2.  Quinoa.  Such a versatile grain.  I'd whip up a big batch of this (again, double or triple), using vegetable stock instead of water.  After you cook the quinoa, let it cool on the stove, then put it in a big container in the fridge.  Then there's a ton of additions you can make to it:

• • Oven roasted vegetables and chickpeas
  • Raisins, pine nuts, parsley & a little lemon juice
  • Cucumbers, tomatoes, parsley, mint, lemon juice, EVOO = Quinoa tabbouleh
  • Everything but the kitchen sink = literally any veggie, bean or nut you can find in the fridge.  Can't really go wrong, here.

Quinoa is also great as a breakfast grain - treat it the same way you would the steelcut oatmeal, cooking it in almond or coconut milk or apple juice instead of water for extra flavor.

 

3.  Brown Rice.  Same exact principle as the quinoa.  I learned to cook brown rice in the oven and it comes out perfectly every time.  But it takes an hour to cook so it's not really practical when you're trying to put a meal together in a hurry.  But if you cook it up ahead of time (really, whenever you have a few extra minutes to throw it in the oven), you can always doctor it up later.  And guess what - you can use this grain for breakfast, too!

 

Image from SheSimmers

4.  Peanut Satay Sauce.  Mmmm.  So delicious on pretty much anything - drizzled over roasted vegetables, doused on soba or rice noodles, saturating rice or quinoa.  Add some edamame and carrots and you've got a go-to lunch that's easy to whip together if you keep this sauce in the fridge.  Here's the recipe I used:

• ½ cup creamy natural peanut butter
• ¼ cup hot water, plus more as needed
• 3 tablespoons juice from 2 limes
• 2 scallions, slicked thin
• 1 tablespoon fish sauce
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar, plus more as needed
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1 medium garlic clove, minced or pressed through a garlic press (about 1 teaspoon)
• ½ - 1 teaspoon red curry paste
• 1 tablespoon minced fresh cilantro leaves

Puree all but the cilantro in a blender.  Add hot water as necessary to thin the sauce to the desired consistency.  Season with brown sugar to taste.  Recipe from The Best Chicken Recipes.

5.  Salsa.  Now yes, you can buy perfectly good salsa.  But once again, read the labels!  You wouldn't believe how many companies add sugar or wheat to salsa.  So I decided to make my own just so I knew exactly what was going in to it.  Plus I happen to be partial to my own recipe - chips and salsa is a super easy snack to have on the cleanse and it's a definite treat when the salsa is as fresh and yummy as this.

• 6 medium tomatoes
• 10 small jalapenos (red is best - I use Roma)
• ¼ medium Spanish onion
• 2 garlic cloves
• 2 tablespoons fresh cilantro (chopped)
• 2 tablespoons white vinegar
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1 ½ teaspoons liquid smoke (mesquite-flavored)

Preheat your barbecue grill or grill pan to high temperature.  Remove any stems from the tomatoes, then rub some oil over each tomato. (You may want to cut the tomatoes in half for easier grilling) You can leave the stems on the jalapenos.  Place the tomatoes on the grill and cook about 10 minutes.  Place the jalapenos onto the grill. (TIP: To adjust the heat, cut in half and scoop out seeds roasting skin side to the flame).  Allow Tomatoes and jalapenos to cook an additional 10 minutes and turn.  When almost the entire surface of the peppers has charred black you can remove them from the grill.  The tomatoes will turn partially black, but when the skin begins to come off they are done.

Put the peppers and tomatoes on a plate and let them cool. (TIP: Placing the tomatoes and peppers into a zip top bag or placing a bowl upside down over the them will make the skins easier to peel off later).  When the tomatoes and peppers have cooled, remove most of the skin from the tomatoes and place them into a food processor. Pinch the stem end to remove them from each of the peppers and place them into the food processor as well. Toss out the liquid that remains on the plate.

Add the remaining ingredients to the food processor and puree on high speed for 5-10 seconds or until the mixture has a smooth consistency.  Place the salsa into a covered container and chill for several hours or overnight while the flavors develop. (Makes about 4 cups).

**Here's my store-bought salsa tip if you can't find the time to make your own.  Add in a little chopped fresh cilantro to any jarred salsa and it'll instantly taste fresher.

6.  Bean Chili.  This was a staple for Brian's lunches.  Easy to whip up a huge batch and freeze individual portions.

 

Image from FeelGoodEats

7.  Other soups.  Potato leek.  Spicy pumpkin.  Asian lentil stew.  Black bean.  Pretty much any vegan or vegetarian soup you can think of can easily be made in a double batch and frozen.  All it takes is a quick simmer on the stove (add in a little water to the bottom of the pot so it won't scorch) or a zap in the microwave for a quick lunch or dinner.

 

Image from A Couple Cooks

8.  Homemade salad dressings.  Again, yes you can buy these but really - it's so much nicer to make your own!  I did keep a bottle of Newman's Own Oil & Vinegar dressing around for quick impromptu salads.  But whip up a bottle of your favorite dressing - vegan recipes can easily be found for these all over the web and they can be kept in the fridge for a week or more.  All you need is some oil, some vinegar, maybe some herbs, a little Dijon - and a jar.  Just be careful - once you start making your own salad dressings, it may be hard to go back to store-bought!

9.  Fruit salad.  Sometimes the hardest part about eating fresh fruits and veggies is in the time it takes to chop and prep everything.  So dedicate one day at the beginning of the week to do it all at once.  And eating a variety is so much better for you that just eating one or two types of produce.  So mix 'em all in a bowl together and enjoy!

10.  Black bean & corn salsa.  Make every night Mexican night!  Seriously, this yummy stuff can be eaten solo or used for tacos, enchiladas, on a salad, mixed in with rice or quinoa...and it keeps well in the fridge.  What more can you ask for?!

***********

So there ya go.  TEN items to get you started for your cleanse (or just for everyday life). Another tip I have is to keep a dry erase board on your fridge.  In one column, list all of the things you need to use up from the fridge and in the other column, list all of the stuff you have waiting for you in the freezer.  That way you're not left staring at the contents of your refrigerator, wasting energy.  Then, once you remove something for a meal, erase it from your list.  Again, another practice that's not cleanse-specific, but just good practice in general.

Hope this helps!

Cleanse Advice - Cookbooks

Coming from a meat and potatoes kind of family, the thing that intimidated me the most about starting the cleanse was that I knew that my cooking repertoire included very few things that would pass as "cleanse-friendly".  So I headed to the library and checked out every single vegetarian/vegan cookbook they had.  Yes, I left with TEN cookbooks (the maximum allowed) on my first trip and came back for the other five at a later date.  There were a few I found to be the most helpful, and here they are:

Supermarket Vegan by Donna Klein

15 Minute Vegetarian by Susann Geiskopf-Hadler & Mindy Toomay

Moosewood Restaurant Simple Suppers (I've heard all of the Moosewood cookbooks are great for Vegetarian cooking)

Veganomicon: The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook by Isa Chandra Moskowitz

The Gluten-Free Bible 

From Asparagus to Zucchini - Third Edition

I found these cookbooks to be so helpful because going in to the cleanse I was worried about having enough variety.  I mean, one can only eat so many beans and so many salads.  But these cookbooks all helped me feel like there was a whole other culinary world waiting for me that I had never explored.  And that meals didn't have to include meat to be yummy.

So do you have a favorite vegan/vegetarian cookbook?  If you do, post it in the comments and I'll do a follow up post with readers suggestions!

Cleanse Advice - Getting Started

Thank you so much to all of you who have been so supportive about my cleanse "experiment."  Really, your words of encouragement kept me going during the cleanse and your kindness since I've completed it have me just beaming with pride.

Many of you have commented that you, too, are interested in starting the cleanse in hopes of reaching your own higher level of wellness.  So first let me say, "Whoo Hoo!!"  Honestly, I gained so much from those 3 short weeks, I just want to shout it from the rooftops.  If you're sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, I highly recommend giving yourself the gift of this cleanse.

To that end, I'm here to help you get started.  First I recommend you purchase Kathy Freston's book, "The Quantum Wellness Cleanse."  

Or, at the very least, reserve a copy from the library.  And, no, she's not paying me to say that!!  But the info she has in the book about WHY you're restricting what she's asking you to is invaluable and more that what I have or will cover on this blog.  She walks you through every day of the cleanse and seems to have an uncanny way of saying exactly what you need to hear on that day.  It's kinda eery, in that sense, but extremely helpful.

You could also purchase the companion book, "Quantum Wellness" if you're interested in delving deeper into the spiritual aspects of the cleanse.  I have not read that book, however, so can't really comment on it's content.  But I assume it would give you a more well-rounded approach to living your life with purpose and wellness.

So, after you've gotten the book, what's the first thing you'll want to do?  Well, first, read it all the way through.  It's a pretty short read, given that the last 50-75 pages or so are dedicated to recipes you can enjoy while on the cleanse.  You don't even have to read every page thoroughly, but it does help to get an idea of what's to come.

Next up, time to go shopping!

Kathy gives a nice shopping list in the book as well as here on her website.  I found it to be very helpful to think of all the wonderful food I could have, instead of focusing on the things I couldn't.  To her list I would add the following items (just from my own personal experience):

• Rice cakes (get the unsalted, unflavored kind - yuck on their own, but great with peanut or almond butter)
• Brown rice multi-seed crackers - my favorite are these by CrunchMaster; they sell them at Costco.  Really good with hummus or white bean dip.
• Trio granola bars - I kept one of these in my purse and in the car at all times.  Great for when I felt like cheating while I was on the go.  Also available at Costco.
• Any of the sprouted grain products by Ezekiel 4:9 - tortillas, burger buns, bread, english muffins.  For those days when you just want a friggin' sandwich!
• Black bean burgers
• Canned pumpkin - great for mixing into oatmeal
• Veggie soups, like minestrone, potato or pumpkin and legume soups like black bean and lentil.  Great for quick and easy lunches.  Make sure to read the label, though and look for no added sugars or wheat products.
• Herbal tea - make it as iced tea if you're tired of drinking plain water all the time
• Mott's Calcium Fortified, No Sugar Added applesauce
• Calcium fortified orange juice
• Pumpkin seeds in the shell
• Black olives
• Pre-popped popcorn - organic Target brand

So that should get you started.  Next time we'll talk about cookbooks you might want to check out.  There were a few I found invaluable through the duration of the cleanse and will be purchasing now to keep the healthy eating going.

Above all else, I want to wish those of you embarking on this journey the best - I truly hope you find it as beneficial to you as I have, and I believe you will.  For those that are still skeptical, I know how you feel.  I was, too.  So if you have questions, please feel free to post a comment.  I read them and will gladly answer them as best as I can.

Wishing all of you health and happiness!

Cleanse DAY TWENTY-ONE - The Finale!!

I DID IT!!!

I am not one for tooting my own horn, but please excuse me while I toot away a bit (wait, that came out wrong...).

These last few weeks have been, for lack of a better word, revolutionary for me.  I have to admit, I was somewhat skeptical when I started this cleanse.  I mean the results Kathy was promising sure seemed enticing, but I doubted that I would see such a dramatic shift.  I mean cleanses were for health nuts.  For people who had control issues with food.  For radicals who were used to putting their bodies through hell to lose a few pounds or fit into a smaller size.

Boy was I wrong.

I am NOT a health nut.  But I do have a vested interest in my personal health, as well as the health of my family.  I want to have energy for my kids.  I want to have the motivation to lead the kind of life I've always envisioned myself living.  

I don't have control issues with food.  At least not in the sense that I'm constantly thinking about food or how many calories something has or how much exercise I'll have to do to burn something off.  In fact, I'm rather the opposite.  I don't think about the implications of eating something unhealthy or what that does to my body or to my metabolism.  I kind of just eat whatever I feel like eating.  Always have.  Well that worked fine in my early 20's, but apparently you can't get away with eating like a college dorm resident much past the age of 25.  Didn't get THAT memo...

And I'm certainly not a radical when it comes to fitting into a certain size.  I don't keep "skinny clothes" in my closet dreaming of one day fitting into them again.  Weight loss was a by-product of this cleanse, and a welcome by-product at that.  But it was never the goal.  Long-term health and deciding to raise my consciousness about food and how it fueled my body - those were the goals.

Today, I am so much more aware and conscious of my eating patterns.  I feel better than I have in years.  YEARS, people.  It's so eye-opening to realize that my normal, baseline energy level isn't just one click above sloth, like I had thought for so long.  Without certain chemicals and substances playing cruel tricks on my body, I've discovered that I CAN have the energy I want to have.  I CAN find the motivation I thought I'd birthed out with my first child.   I'm so grateful for the strength and discipline it took to stick with something this challenging because it's taught me so much about myself and my body.  I know, for certain, I'm a better person because of the time I've given to myself over the last 21 days.

I've had a lot of people ask me questions about the cleanse and say they could NEVER do it.  Hear this, everyone - I thought the very same thing.  I mean give up pasta?  And cheese?  And chocolate?!  Read that part above again about just eating whatever I wanted and never really thinking about it.  I don't like being told what to do and I certainly don't like being told I can't have something.  So why would I ever have wanted to sign up for something like this?  What on earth compelled me to deprive myself of some of my fondest gustatory pleasures?  

I'll tell you...

    I was tired of not knowing how certain foods affected my body.  

    I was tired of feeling like I never had enough discipline to stick with something.

    I was tired of being a hypocrite.  How could I tell my kids to eat healthy and to practice moderation when I wasn't doing it myself?

    I was tired of being angry that I wasn't one of those people "born with a higher metabolism."

    I was tired of just hoping that one day I would change.  Just hoping that one day it wouldn't be so hard.

    Mostly, I was just tired of feeling tired.  

I wanted, no I needed, a change and wanted to prove that I had it in me to do it myself.  To not have to rely on a pill or some magic number of calories .  So I just made the decision to do it.  One day, I just said, "Enough.  If I want change in my life, I'M going to have to make it happen.  No one is going to do this for me.  I'm not just going to wake up one morning and have boundless energy unless I change how I'm living."

It helped tremendously that my incredible husband was as gung-ho about this as I was.  Well, he wasn't gung-ho about giving up coffee, but he did it.  I'm not sure I could have done this without him because it WAS a huge lifestyle change for us.  And the thought of him sitting across the table munching on a cheeseburger while I ate quinoa and beans would have sucked majorly.  But he stuck it out with me, supported me the whole way, and is on board with making some of these changes stick long-term for our family.  Plus, I must say, it was kind of nice seeing my super-human, marathon-running, can't-put-on-weight-to-save-his-life husband struggle with something that came rather easy to me (giving up caffeine).  It was kind of nice to be ahead of the health curve on him for a change!

So if any of you are considering doing this, even just for a day, or a week, I can't give you enough encouragement.  It IS possible to feel better.  It is amazing how impactful this can be.

Over the next week or so, I'll try to give some further pointers on how Brian and I made it through the 21 days - foods to eat and have on hand, snack ideas, cookbooks to try.  Understand, it's not easy.  But nothing worth doing ever is.  And you WILL see results - and, most importantly, you'll see them fast.  Overnight, even.

As for changes going forward, that's for another post.  But Brian and I do intend to make some long-term dietary modifications that have been, cleanse-inspired, shall we say.  However, tomorrow is going to be a guilt-free day.  I'm looking forward to eggs for breakfast.  And maybe even some bacon.  And a good friend is coming for lunch and we're having PIZZA!!  Going to try not to go overboard, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't just a tad excited :0)

Thanks for keeping up with our journey here on this blog.  If you have any specific questions you'd like me to address, post a comment.  I'm happy to talk about this because I believe in what it can do for people.  Because I know what it's done for me.

Cleanse Update

Sorry it's been a few days since I've posted about the cleanse.  Rest assured, we're still going strong here - on day 19, which means only 2 more to go!  Yippee!!

Some kind of nasty cold has systematically taken out every member of our family over the last few days, concluding with Brian's bout with it today.  Man, nothing will have you reaching for old comforts like a stuffy nose and achy body.  BUT...we've powered through, likely because the end is very much in sight. 

So just wanted to update - I've tried a few recipes over the last few days, some that have worked out well, others that....left much to be desired.  My favorite was probably tonight's dinner, which consisted of brown rice, peppers & bean sprouts in a spicy ginger peanut dressing.  Overall, I think I've eaten more peanut butter over the past 19 days than I had in maybe an entire year leading up to it!  I mean, I like PB and all, but we've gone through nearly 2 jars a week!

I've also made a Quinoa Tabbouleh, which was pretty good, and a Warm French Lentil Salad which probably would have been better if I'd actually not overcooked the lentils...it DID, however, give Brian and I the opportunity to try fennel, which we both really liked.  I've always shied away from fennel b/c Food Network tells me it tastes like black licorice (which I abhor).  But it has a very subtle anise flavor, nothing that's at all offensive.  And the crunch and texture is similar to celery, which I also quite like.  Bottom line = big thumbs up for fennel!

So there's a few more recipes I'm anxious to try over the next couple of days - I ventured into the local Asian market for the first time in search of miso for a delicious sounding miso/tahini sauce for soba noodles.  ...holy giant tub of Miso, McQueen!

 

Seeing as how I've NEVER used miso before, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with all this soybean paste...any ideas?!

So just two more days.  The end is in sight.  No stopping now!

Cleanse DAY THIRTEEN - Deprivation

Okay, starting to get antsy here.  For some reason I felt really tempted today to just cut the cleanse short.  It was as if the naughty part of my brain was trying to exert control again, saying "You've already proven your point.  You can go without.  So why not just stop and grab that pizza you've been wanting for two weeks?  Two weeks without it is plenty!"  Still, I know that at least 75% of the reason I wanted to do this cleanse was to stick to something, to show some discipline.  And that means sticking through the entire 21 days.  Sticking with something even when it's hard, even when it's inconvenient.  So even though it's hard and I want to give up, I will not let myself.  No way.  

People have asked me, "Is it hard to do?  Do you feel deprived all the time?"  The answer is yes.   

Yes I feel somewhat deprived because I AM depriving myself.  I'm depriving myself of the pattern of self-indulgence I'd fallen into.  I'm depriving myself of ALWAYS having what I craved, never thinking about how it made me feel and just mindlessly putting whatever I wanted into my body.  That's uncomfortable.  That's hard.

But...

It's totally been worth it.  The amount of energy I have now is at least double what I had before the cleanse.  And not just energy, but motivation.  I want to be doing something, all the time.  So my productivity has increased.  I want to be present and engaging with my kids.  So my quality time with them has increased.  I want to live a more healthy lifestyle.  So I've been working out almost everyday and my overall level of health has increased.  I just can't overstate the benefits I feel I've received from doing this short little experiment.  I'm not saying it's for everyone, but if you're truly tired of feeling sluggish and just want to give your body a chance to reboot and reset itself, to find it's natural state of equilibrium without all the substances and chemicals we come to depend on, then give this a try.  Even if it's just for 1 week.  It will open your eyes.

 

Breakfast:

PB & J on sprouted English muffin
Banana

Lunch:

Sesame soba noodles w/carrots, green onions & edamame
Clementine
Popcorn

Dinner:

Spicy pumpkin soup w/black beans
Carrots

Snacks:

Apple & rice cakes w/Peanut Butter
Handful of almonds
 

 

Excited for tomorrow's breakfast - I whipped up a batch of "breakfast quinoa" that should be pretty tasty.

Image from Foodblogga

Cleanse DAYS NINE - TWELVE - More than Halfway There!!

Well, I did it - I survived a weekend traveling.  I survived a kid's birthday party (a CARNIVAL-themed party, no less!).  Gotta say, I'm feeling pretty much like a rockstar right now!

Before we left on Friday, I spent a good portion of the day cooking up some ready-made meals to take with us so we'd always have something in the fridge at my mom's house.  Here's what we took with us:

• Steelcut oatmeal made with coconut milk, bananas & pecans
• Sesame noodle salad w/carrots, green onions & edamame
• Quinoa pilaf w/carrots & walnuts
• Black bean and corn salsa
• Fire roasted salsa, guacamole & tortilla chips

My mom was also kind enough to have a ton of fruit and vegetables available to us.  So we definitely didn't go hungry.  Thanks, mom!

As for the party itself, Brian and I made sure we ate before we left, just so we wouldn't be salivating the entire time on empty stomachs.  My sister-in-law did have salad and veggies so we did munch on those at chow time.  And potato chips, which were on the tables.  But neither of us had even a taste of cake!  Can you believe it?  For those who know Brian, in particular, this was no small feat - I'm so proud of him for staying strong in the face of one of his very favorite foods.  I, on the other hand, did cheat just a hair.  I was cutting Natalie's pizza for her and by god if it didn't CRY OUT for me.  So I stole a bite.  One bite.  And damn if that wasn't some of the best pizza I've ever tasted!

So one moment of weakness.  Not too bad - I'll take it.  And I don't feel at all like I've failed (when I started I thought ANY slip would constitute failure).  I'm not perfect and that's okay.  Progress, not perfection.  That's what Ms. Freston would say...

So I'll get back to posting my menu tomorrow.  Got some yummy things on the menu plan this week.  Things like:

• Spicy pumpkin soup w/black beans
• Vietnamese spring rolls
• Chimichurri rice
• Homemade breakfast cookies
• Quinoa tabbouleh
• Asian lentil stew

And more!

We're down to single digits here!  It is starting to feel like a lifestyle change, I must say.  When I first started I thought about food nearly every minute of every day. What I could have, what I couldn't.  Now I think about food right before I'm supposed to eat and then again when I'm typing up the blog and only occasionally in between.  For the most part, my mental energy has been completely redirected towards being productive, having fun with my kids, planning for the future, etc.  I finally feel like the old me again and it's so good to be back!

Cleanse DAY EIGHT - Tempted by the Princess

Whew, another day of temptation survived! I tell ya, nothing like walking into an arena filled with hot dogs and cheese stix and cotton candy to REALLY test what you're made of on a cleanse!  But I actually survived.  Despite buying a cheese stick for Natalie and having the garlic tickle my nose and watching her pull the stringy cheese out of her mouth.  I thought, "What if I took one bite?  Who would know?  Natalie's not going to tell anyone...".  But I would have known.  And my intention is to be 100% honest with ya'll, good or bad.  It's not that I feel like I have to be perfect, it's just -- if I'm going to slip up, do I REALLY want it to be with one bite of a crummy arena cheese stick?  Wouldn't it be better to have like a really good piece of dark chocolate?  Or a delicious pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream?  Or a juicy, medium rare piece of filet mignon?  Who wants to screw up on a CHEESE STICK?!

So my record stands.  Eight days with no gluten.  Eight days with no cheese.  One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, one temptation at a time.

Breakfast:

That delicious steelcut oatmeal I made last night - SOOOO yummy
Clementine
Handful of red grapes

Lunch:

Snall McDonald's french fries (did someone say I had a weigh-in tomorrow? Oh crap!)
Carrot sticks & Celery w/Peanut butter
Smoothie w/almond milk, strawberries, banana, ground flax seed & protein powder

Dinner:

Romaine salad w/carrots, chickpeas, edamame, yellow pepper, & balsamic vinaigrette
Red grapes & pineapples
(After the show) - Peanut butter & jelly sandwich on gluten free bread

Snacks:

Trio bar
Chips & salsa
Pumpkin seeds
Apple

 

A great big thank you to my friend Laura who had us over to her lovely new home tonight for dinner and a playdate.  She put out the most unbelievable fix-your-own-salad bar that rivals ANY I've seen in a restaurant.  She made it so easy to stick to my cleanse and eat well while I was at her home and inspired me to add more variety to my own salads!  Thank you, Laura!  I do kinda wish I could have had some of that spaghetti pie, though!

Cleanse DAY SEVEN - Dinner Disaster

Whoo Hoo!!  One week down, two to go!  Today I felt really great - very motivated, ready to tackle anything.  The problem with that is that I'm looking around and seeing so much that I want to do, I'm starting to get a little overwhelmed by my ever-increasing list of projects!  I feel like if I can just get on top of a few things, particularly in the way of household organization, then I can really harness this extra energy and tackle a number of things that I've been wanting to do but haven't had the energy.  In the coming days, I'm hoping to share with you my new organization system (it involves a binder, people!  Anyone else out there as crazy about binders as I am?  No?  Just me?  Okay then...).  I know as a mother, I feel like I'm not only responsible for my own schedule, but my two kids and even my husband's, to a degree, as well.  Plus keeping on top of all the household things that need to be done, stuff that needs to be purchased, appointments that need to be made...it's a lot to keep organized.  But from a solid foundation of organization I know I can function much more efficiently.  So that'll be my next big project that I'm hoping to share with ya'll.

In the meantime, I tried a new recipe tonight.  Pineapple Fried Rice w/Tofu.  It did not go well.  Bravo to those of you out there who are able to get tofu to look and taste appealing.  I've just not had very good luck with it.  

So I think that will likely be my last attempt, at least during the duration of this cleanse.  It's one thing when you make  crummy dish while you're eating "normally" - you can just grab something quick and easy out of the pantry or fridge if you can't eat what you prepared.  When you're eating all heathified, pretty much everything needs to be fresh and prepared from scratch.  Or at least you have to think ahead and have some stuff already prepared.  There are very few convenience foods for us to choose from right now.  So a dinner disaster left me SERIOUSLY starving when I went to the movies with friends tonight.  Which, of course, was enough reason for me to indulge in a little movie popcorn (sans butter, of course!).  Hey, I can have popcorn!  So what if it's salt and trans fat laden!  It's gluten free!

Breakfast:

Handful of red grapes
Trio bar
Glass of calcium-fortified OJ

Lunch:

Big bowl of potato leek soup
Banana

Dinner:

Pineapple Fried Rice w/Tofu = FAIL
Substitution = 2 rice cakes with peanut butter
Carrots

Snacks:

Movie theater popcorn - yay!
Handful of cashews
Clementine
Apple

On the bright side, I whipped up another batch of steelcut oatmeal this evening.  Instead of going for an apple walnut flavor, however, this time I cooked the oats in 1:1 water/coconut milk.  Then I added two mushed bananas and a big old bunch of pecans.  Threw in some nutmeg, cinnamon and a little vanilla and voila!  Banana nut oatmeal.  No sugar, lots of fiber and protein - totally healthy AND totally yummy!

Here's to week two of clean livin'!

Cleanse DAY SIX - Dessert!!

Woke up feeling okay this morning - sore throat was better, but kind of came and went throughout the day.  I'm hoping the healthier diet will help me fight off whatever this might be.  So far all winter the whole household hasn't been sick at all (knock on wood), so I will be seriously pissed if I get sick NOW.

Watched a very thought-provoking movie tonight (Capitalism: A Love Story) and caught tonight's episode of Glee.  Hopefully tomorrow on Hulu they'll post clips from tonight's episode that I can repost here - I thought "The Talk" between Kurt and his father was really well done.  I know (hope!) that talk is a long way off for us and our kids, but I can only hope that we handle it as eloquently as Kurt's dad did.

Anyways, feeling mentally and physically nourished today.  Here's what went down the hatch:

Breakfast:

Steelcut oatmeal w/apples & walnuts
Banana

Lunch:

Peanut butter & jelly sandwich! (natural PB and strawberry all-fruit spread on gluten free bread - not bad)
Carrots w/hummus for dipping
Potato chips

Dinner:

Yellow rice w/lentils & broccoli - Dang, that was pretty good!
Spinach & romaine salad w/nuts & seeds and O&V dressing

Dessert (Yea, you heard me!):

Tropical Fruit Cup - check out the recipe:

Pineapple - Banana Fruit Cups w/Coconut
Recipe from Supermarket Vegan

2 cups fresh pineapple chunks
(I used canned crushed pineapple cuz that's what I had - would be better with fresh, I'm sure)
2 large ripe yet firm bananas, peeled and sliced into 1-inch rounds
1/4 cup sweetened flaked coconut (I used unsweetened and I toasted it)
Juice of 1 fresh lemon (about 3 Tbsp)

In a medium bowl, toss all ingredients gently yet thoroughly to combine.  Let stand about 10 minutes to allow the flavors to blend; toss gently again.  Transfer to small dessert cups or bowls and serve at once.

How easy is that?

AND, it was pretty yummy.  I'm not gonna BS you and say it was "Just as good as a bowl of ice cream!"  But it actually was very refreshing and did satisfy that craving for something sweet that I often get after a very savory meal.  Just lookin' for things to incorporate into our diets AFTER the cleanse...

Snacks:

Pickles & olives
2 clementines
Rice cake w/Peanut Butter and cinnamon
Handful of walnuts

So tomorrow makes it one week of vegan, gluten/sugar/alcohol/caffeine-free livin' for Brian and I.  Whoot whoot!  I'm starting to get a little anxiety over our upcoming weekend, however.  We'll be headed to my mom's house for the weekend to attend my niece's birthday party.  Eating this way is hard enough to do at our own home, but traveling???  Where there will be CAKE???  This will really test me personally as I'm sure I'll be mighty tempted to reach for convenience over home-cooked, especially while we're on the road.  I'll have to do a little prep work on dishes that travel well so my poor mother doesn't have to try to come up with something that fits into our diet parameters!

Oh, and for all of you NOT cleansing and who are able to enjoy Fat Tuesday - hope someone out there had a paczki for me!!

Cleanse DAY FIVE - Shreddin'

Wow, what a relief to wake up this morning feeling better.  My energy was back up and my mood had improved significantly as well.  And the cravings, while still present, were certainly more tolerable.  What a roller coaster this has been so far!  After speaking with my friend Jen who recently completed a similar cleanse, she said days 3 and 4 were her hardest, too.  So while I don't expect the next 16 days to be a snap, it's nice to know that I wasn't going completely crazy yesterday!  And maybe, just maybe, the worst is behind me.

Contributing to my lack of energy and motivation in the months leading up to my decision to do this cleanse was certainly a lack of physical exercise.  But for those of you who've struggled with this, I'm sure you know how it goes.  You know mentally that if you just get up and get moving, you'll feel better and you'll have more energy.  But where are you supposed to get the energy from to get moving in the first place?!  No one ever seems to have a good answer for that, other than, "You just have to DO it."  Well, excuse me, but if it were THAT easy, wouldn't EVERYONE be DOING IT?!  So actually, I've found that when I have a little momentum going and a little energy in my tank, that's when I feel like exercising.  And I can honestly say that the changes I've made to my diet in just these few short days has given me more energy.  And more motivation.

So today, I spent some quality time with America's favorite ass-kicker, Jillian Michaels.  

And, true to form, girl kicked my butt!  I've done this workout before, but usually rest when it gets too hard.  Today when I did the workout, I found I was mentally tougher.  What she was saying actually made sense to me.  You know, the part about how you have to push if you want change.  When it's uncomfortable, that's when you're making progress -- that's when you're changing yourself.  So I pushed.  Pretty sure my body will pay me back tomorrow, but for tonight I can go to bed knowing that I fed myself with healthy, nutritious foods and moved my body the way it was designed to move.  And I feel pretty darn good about that.

 

Breakfast:

Monkey waffle sandwich - 2 gluten free waffles spread with natural peanut butter, topped with sliced bananas
Fruit salad (Natalie and I finally finished off what was left!)
Glass of calcium-fortified OJ

Lunch:

Peanut soba noodles w/carrots & peas
Carrots w/hummus for dipping

Dinner:

Leftover quinoa w/pine nuts & cranberries (pretty yummy leftovers, I might add...)
No sugar added applesauce

Snacks:

Handful of black olives
2 baby dill pickles
Clementine
Rice cake w/Peanut Butter and cinnamon
Mandarin orange spice herbal tea sweetened with agave nectar

Okay, so now for the bad news.  Pretty sure Jacob and I are coming down with a cold.  He woke up with a snotty nose and pretty much wouldn't eat all day (which is usually a dead giveaway that he's either teething or coming down with something).  And as I sit here typing this, I definitely feel my throat getting a bit scratchy.  I know how hard this cleanse is to do when I'm feeling healthy - I'm a bit concerned that being sick is REALLY gonna push me over the edge and send me head long into a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich (on gluten-rich bread!).   Gonna have to summon some strength from somewhere deep within, I'm afraid.

In the meantime, I've got two bags of lentils in my pantry waiting to be used in this week's menu.  Anyone have any tried and true lentil recipes to share?  Also, any difference between the greenish-brown ones and the red ones (besides the obvious COLOR difference)?   I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've never cooked them and don't think I've ever tasted them.  So ease me in gently, won't you?

Cleanse DAY FOUR - Cravings, Yearnings, Needing, Wanting

Okay.  Mark day number 4 down as by far the toughest for me.  I woke up cranky and just could not get out of my funk.  Which, of course, meant every single food that I ever would have turned to last week I wanted desperately today.  Pizza.  Ice cream.  Pesto pasta.  Cheese (especially of the melted, gooey variety).  I even had a hankerin' for a cold glass of milk.  Also, it didn't help that my new Cook's Country magazine came in the mail yesterday and had me drooling over Orange-Glazed Chicken, muffins, and strawberry shortcake... *Sigh*

A wonderful email from an even more wonderful friend reminded me of something tonight -- food is just fuel.  It doesn't need to consume my every thought.  Meals should NOT be what I look forward to or dread in a day.  And it's okay to want something and not have it (how many times do I tell that to my 5-year old!).  So I'm plowing through.  17 more days.  I can do anything for 17 days....  Oh, and I just weighed myself - I've already lost 3 1/2 pounds.  In 4 days!  Holy heck.  With complete honestly I say to you that I did NOT start this cleanse to lose weight.  Now, I figured that by going from a pizza/ice cream/pesto/cheese diet to a quinoa/bean/salad/fruit diet would net me a few in the pounds-lost column.  But it genuinely is not what I'm ultimately hoping to gain from this cleanse.  It is, however, a nice little bonus that I'm going to use as motivation to keep on keepin' on!

Today's menu was kind of boring - we had a lot of leftovers in the fridge that we needed to finish up, so most of our meals were a hodge podge of this week's earlier fixins.  I have a bunch of fun recipes to try next week, though!

Breakfast:

Banana
Steelcut oatmeal w/apples and walnuts
Glass of calcium-fortified OJ

Lunch:

Trio Bar
Bowl of potato leek soup
Fruit salad (this fruit salad I made just will not end!!  We eat it every day and there's STILL a bunch left!)

Dinner:

Spinach & romaine salad with carrots, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, toasted almonds and oil & vinegar dressing
CrunchMaster multigrain crackers

Snacks:

Black olives
Tortilla chips and salsa
Apple
Rice cake w/Peanut Butter and cinnamon

 

And a big BLOG-STYLE shout out to a few of my friends today.  Melissa and Zezette -- great to see you at Java Gym.  You girls always know how to make me laugh and kept my mind off everything for a few hours.  And Jen - if you're reading, words can't express how happy I am to call you my friend.  You're kindness and support were like the big hug I needed tonight.  Love all of you!

Have a great week, everyone!

Cleanse DAY THREE - Sugar Beast

Day three, still truckin' along.  Felt slightly less jubilant today, but still found that I had quite a bit of energy.  My patience with the kids was tested, though, as I think the sugar monster is starting to rear it's ugly head a bit...would have given anything for a piece of chocolate at about 2pm today.  But I got busy going back to the grocery store and fixing tonight's dinner.  I think if I can find ways to stay busy when I'm in the midst of a craving, I should be okay.  If you see my kids on the street in the meantime, stop and give them a hug.  They may be in a for a rough couple of days if I get any crankier!

On to today's menu --

Breakfast:

Banana
Bowl of fruit salad
Peanut butter and almond butter spread on rice cakes
Glass of calcium-fortified OJ

Lunch:

Greek salad (without the feta) from Panera Bread
Potato chips

Dinner:

Tacos filled with black bean & veggie salad, yellow rice, and guacamole
Chips and fresh homemade salsa (I make a delicious salsa using this recipe)

**Forgive my food styling as it clearly leaves much to be desired!  I don't know how those magazine folks do it!

Snacks:

Trio Bar
Pistachios & walnuts
3 baby dill pickles
Apple

 

Looking back on today's menu I'm seeing a noticeable lack of protein.  Lots of protein in the black beans, of course, and some in the brown rice.  But I definitely needed something else at lunch, even though the salad was huge and I was pretty full afterwards.  Protein is definitely the most challenging thing for me to make sure I'm getting enough of, especially since we've chosen not to eat tofu.  But as Kathy says in the book, protein-deficiency is NOT a problem we have in America.  Obesity, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, high cholesterol...THOSE are the real threats to our health.

Cleanse DAY TWO - Placebo Effect??

Well, day two on the cleanse is in the books.  Now I don't know if there's a little bit of a placebo effect taking place, but I honestly feel a little better.  I went to bed last night and felt, I don't know, cleaner.  Lighter.  And then this morning, 7:30am rolled around and I actually woke up on my own, feeling very refreshed and ready to start my day (anyone who knows me that a pre-8am wake up time is only done out of necessity with me!).  

My good mood and higher energy level lasted pretty much the whole day, but I did discover something.  When I'm really hungry (like stomach growling hungry), THAT'S when I want to hit the drive-thru or shove whatever I can find into my mouth.  I had to leave to get Natalie from preschool around 11:15 this morning.  That was too early to eat lunch, but I hadn't eaten breakfast since 8am.  So I was pretty dang hungry and was ready to scrap the cleanse then and pull into the nearest Arby's for some roast beef! Thankfully, I didn't.  But next time I'll know to keep some almonds or a granola bar or something in the car for those moments of weakness.

Brian had an interesting story to share today.  He had a business lunch meeting at Applebee's and discovered that their menu is not very "cleanse-friendly".  He ordered their Chicken Paradise Salad without the chicken.  He said the waiter looked at him like he had two heads.  "Without the chicken?  Are you serious?"  Um, yea, bud.  So apparently vegetarians are hitting up Applebee's often enough for this guy to get used to a no-meat salad...

On to today's menu:

Breakfast:

Bowl of steelcut oatmeal w/apples & walnuts
Small bowl of fruit salad
Glass of calcium-fortified OJ

Lunch:

Leftover soba noodles w/peanut sauce & shredded carrots
Handful of toasted walnuts

Dinner:

Quinoa pilaf w/shallots, cranberries and pinenuts
Asian style sesame green beans

Snacks:

Handful of pistachios
Bowl of air-popped popcorn
4 baby dill pickles

Also, one tip I wanted to share.  I went out shopping in search of yummy things to fill my cabinet with.  I knew I'd probably be cooking a lot of quinoa (because our whole family likes it and it's one of the grains highest in protein), so I did a little comparison shopping.  

So as you can see, if you plan on purchasing quinoa for your family, I beg of you, do NOT buy it from Meijer!!  It's amazing how much they've jacked up the price on it.  Harvest Health is better, but not by much.  Do yourself and your pocketbook a favor and check out your warehouse store!

Cleanse DAY ONE - The Journey Begins

Well, day one is pretty much under our belts and, so far, so good.  Here's a run-down of what I ate:

Breakfast:

Bowl of steelcut oatmeal w/apples & walnuts**
Small bowl of fruit salad (berries, grapes, pineapple)
Glass of calcium-fortified OJ

**Last night I made up a big batch of steelcut oatmeal.  Instead of using plain water to cook the oatmeal, I used unsweetened apple juice to add more flavor and more sweetness.  I threw in a couple of cut up apples and a ton of walnuts.  This should give Brian and I a filling, healthy breakfast for at least the next 3 mornings...

 

Lunch:

Bowl of roasted potato & leek soup
Banana
Salad w/romaine, spinach, carrots, sliced almonds, & sunflower seeds w/oil & vinegar dressing

**I had to get over a bit of a mental stumble with the soup because I usually throw handfuls of cheese and bacon in my potato soup!  But actually, the soup was delicious by itself and I didn't feel deprived at all.  I definitely doesn't need the cheese.  And the bacon...well, bacon makes pretty much everything better, but at least the soup was pretty darn good without it.  Maybe after the cleanse I won't put quite so much in...

 

Dinner:

Buckwheat noodles w/spicy peanut sauce
Carrot-coconut salad (recipe here)

 

Snacks:

Handful of Ruffles potato chips (hey, I'm not perfect, okay!)
Handful of toasted walnuts

 

So, I feel pretty good today.  Proud of myself for getting through one whole day of the cleanse!!  It's not much, but, hey, it's a start!

 

Pantry Clean-Out

Brian and I decided that the best way for us to kick off our cleanse would be to clean out all of the verboten foods from the fridge and pantry so that we wouldn't constantly be staring at all the yummy pastas and candies and breads every time we go get something to eat.  It's too much temptation!

So here's what our pantry looked like yesterday before the clean-out:

And here's what we're staring at after:

 

So lots of healthy beans and grains in the pantry, which address my biggest concern of getting enough protein over the next 3 weeks.  Then the fridge is stocked with fresh fruits and vegetables of all kinds. 

That's a pretty well-stocked kitchen, if you ask me!

Back to Blogland

Hello everyone (if anyone is actually still reading this thing!).  Time to dust off some cobwebs and get this blog back in action.

First, let me apologize for dropping off the face of the blog planet.  This fall was personally very challenging for me and I felt like I was spreading myself too thin.  I felt like I wasn't doing a very good job at any of the "jobs" I have - being a mom, being a friend, being a photographer, being a blogger...so I just needed to pare down, step back and think about what I wanted this blog to be, what I wanted from it, etc.  What I've concluded is that I really want this to be a place I can come and share my thoughts with my close friends and family and perhaps even a few strangers that wander through.  What I intend to STOP using it for is photography promotion.  Now don't worry - I'll still post pictures from photo shoots I do (as that is becoming an ever-increasingly larger part of my life), but I'm putting the finishing touches on my preliminary website that will be dedicated SOLELY to my work.  Once I get my logo finished by Kim over at MadiLu Designs, the website will be a lot slicker and more professional looking.  But for now, at least I've got my domain name purchased and a temporary website up to showcase my work.  In the future, I may start a dedicated photography blog, but for now, I'll have my website for my work and this blog will serve more as a personal space.

So now that THAT'S cleared up, let me tell you what specifically prompted me to get back into blogging...

For months now I've been feeling incredibly tired and run down and like I have no motivation whatsoever to do much of anything.  My doctor put me on anti-depressants because she said she thought it sounded like depression.  Well, I didn't really feel sad or depressed, but I figured the medication was worth a shot, if for nothing else than to kind of give me a spark to get my engine started.  Well after being on them for 6 months, they didn't help one bit.  I felt the same physically on day 180 as I did on day 1.  Oh, except that by day 180 I had gained 10 pounds, felt stressed out more than I had in several years and felt like my brain just never turned off.  It was very disturbing.  Now, that's not to say that I don't think SRI's work for some people (I have no doubt that they're a lifesaver for some), but as my doctor explained, if you don't have a neurochemical imbalance in the brain, SRI's aren't going to "fix" whatever's wrong.  There must be something else going on.  

During the 6 months I was on Celexa, I also tried several other "easy" fixes to combat the fatigue - going to bed earlier, going to bed/getting up at the same time,  watching less TV, working less on the computer...nothing seemed to help.  I mean, I was getting a full 8 hours of sleep every night (at least) and was still waking up tired.  So I finally had to face the reality that I'd been trying to avoid -- the most likely culprit of my lack of energy was diet and (lack of ) exercise.  Guess what?  When you feed your body crappy fuel and you treat your body like crap (by not taking care of it and exercising it), you're going to feel like crap.  Shocking revelation, I know.  

At about that same time a few weeks ago, Oprah had Kathy Freston on her show again, advocating a vegan diet.  Harpo staffers tried a vegan diet for one week and most of the people they interviewed said that they felt better than they had in years and became more conscious of their food choices and how they relate to their morals and beliefs.  This really struck a chord with me, particularly the part about raising my consciousness about the food I choose to feed myself and my family.  One of the reasons we joined the CSA last year was so that we were more aware of where our food was coming from.  Well now I'm realizing that where the food comes from is just one piece of the puzzle - I really need to focus in and find out exactly how particular foods make me FEEL.

I have friends all the time who say, "Oh, I can't eat dairy, it makes me feel like crap" or "I went gluten free for a week and I've never felt better - I must have a gluten intolerance."  These statements always surprise me a bit because I don't have that level of awareness when it comes to food.  About the only thing I can say is that when I drink too much alcohol, I feel awful the next day.  But that's sort of a no-brainer.  I've never tried to tie how I feel each day to what FOODS I've eaten.  And since I don't think I've gone a day in my life without gluten, dairy AND animal protein, it's hard to single out which food may or may not be contributing to my lack of energy.

So I did a little more reading up on Kathy Freston and discovered one of her books called "The Quantum Wellness Cleanse."  

I checked it out from the library, read it and felt immediately like what she was saying made so much sense.  In her 21-day plan, she advocates a diet free of gluten, animal proteins, caffeine, alcohol and refined sugars.  Instead she steers you towards a diet full of wholesome, plant-based foods.  It's about "choosing foods that don't tax the body and make it work so hard; it's about taking a break, but not about starving."

Also, for those people who hear the word CLEANSE and recoil in horror, please know that while this book talks about becoming more aware of food choices, it's really more about raising your consciousness and treating your body with kindness so that you can feel and look your best.  It's not about deprivation, it's about awareness. 

So people ask, "Isn't it kind of radical to give up all these things entirely for 21 days?  Why not just try giving up gluten first?"  Well my answer to that is, "What if it's not gluten?  Then do I need to sign up for another 21 days of eliminating something ELSE from my diet?"  To me, 21 days is infinitely more doable than 42, 63, 84, or 105 days of trial and error.  I can do anything for 21 days.  Plus, I'll admit it - I have an affection for instant gratification.  That's part of the reason I eat the way I do, without really thinking about what a particular food may do to my body.  So the thought of drastically changing my diet (for the better) and seeing results in a short amount of time caters to the perfectionist in me, as well as my desire for real, discernible results.  Plus, ya know what, part of this IS about discipline for me.  I hate to say it, but I'm not a very disciplined person.  And the idea of committing to something that may be challenging or uncomfortable for 21 days and seeing that through to the end will do wonders for my self-esteem and feelings of accomplishment.  I need to do this so that I know that I CAN do this.

So that brings us to today - today is DAY ONE of my cleanse!!  I'm excited, nervous, and, to be really honest,  a little scared.  Excited for the changes that this will bring to my life.  Nervous that I'll have to really change shopping, cooking, and eating patterns that have been firmly established.  Scared that it's going to be hard.  And uncomfortable.  I'm scared that I'll flip out and binge on chocolate and pasta by day 5.  And...I'm scared that I'll fail.  Fear of failure is what's kept me from doing a lot of things in the past, though, so I'm choosing to walk through that fear.  I'm also trying to broaden my idea of success instead of worrying about slip-ups.  The perfectionist in me says that even one slip up would constitute failure.  But part of what appeals so much to me about this book is that she advocates kindness and tolerance of yourself.  It's about "leaning into change", as she calls it.  One day or even one meal of conscious eating is better than nothing.  

So I'm choosing to challenge myself.  I'm choosing to NOT take the easy road this time.  I'm choosing to gain insight and clarity into how my diet affects my mood and physical well-being.  I'm choosing to break free of the control that food has over me so that going forward on day 22 and beyond, I'm the one in control.

The plan is to blog about my experiences on this cleanse.  Warning - the first few days may NOT be pretty!  Brian's doing the cleanse with me, though (you know how he likes a challenge!), so it's awesome to have that one-on-one support.  But hopefully you'll check in periodically and maybe even give me a little pep talk every now and then -- I can use all the help I can get!  Wish me luck!!